Books by Dr. M
Breaking Through!: Helping Girls Succeed in Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math
Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? How to Have Fun, Survive the Preteen Years, and Remain True to Yourself
Parents of Kids
— October 27, 2025 —
My god daughter is 8, her father is black, and her mother is Mexican American. Her mother doesn't speak Spanish, but her great grandmother and grandmother do. My god daughter has always been attracted to the blonde, white dolls and recently on a vacation when we were alone, she pointed at my skin and said she wished her skin was like mine. I said, "you mean you want freckles?" and she said "No, I want that color." I'm white and this broke my heart. How do I help with this? She's only 8 but has had issues with her skin color since she was 4. I'm not exaggerating. It breaks my heart, and I just want her to know she's beautiful the way she is. Any recommendations?
— Fairy Godmother
Show her a variety of dolls (pictures of dolls would do), and remark on what makes each special (for example, she has a fabulous smile, she wears a beautiful shirt, she is so strong, he is very stylish, etc.). After you have given some examples to your goddaughter, ask her what makes each one remarkable. Don't embarrass her when she points to the blonde hair; instead offer her a positive comment when she shows a unique characteristic or quality of her own. For instance, maybe she makes friends easily, shows kindness by helping others, and works hard on her assignments. She cares about the environment, shows her style by what she picks out to wear, or how she wears her hair. Instead of focusing on how beautiful your god daughter is, indicate how special she is to you because of her character and the things she chooses to do.
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— April 10, 2025 —
My son has been screaming incessantly, for the better part of a year. Not crying- screaming. Shrieking at the absolute top of his lungs for hours upon hours every single day. I'm so worn out and beaten down, I cannot take it anymore.
He's sad? Screams. Mad? Screams. Tired? Screams. Happy? SCREAMS. My husband is just as tired as I am, and my poor 3-year-old is so worn down.
I don't know what to do. We've tried everything, from ignoring him to calmly asking him to stop, encouraging him to use his words, literally screaming back, recording his screams and playing them back to him.
I need a real solution because as it is I'm looking into adoption. I hate that it's gotten to this point, but he only screams at home. Whenever he's being babysat, they go on and on about how sweet and delightful he was. So, it's clear that it's us. He needs something new.
I don't know. I need advice, please help.
— Becca
I am puzzled that your son screams when he is happy, not only when he is angry or frustrated. Is he acting that way because he is desperate for attention? Before you look further into adoption (an absolute last resort,) you need to take two actions as soon as possible. First, explain what is happening at home to your son's pediatrician. He needs a thorough physical examination. Maybe there is a physical ailment that causing your son's screaming episodes. Second, you need to invite a counselor to your home to observe and hopefully figure out what sets off these screaming episodes. Is it something that you and/or your husband are doing? Something that is in the environment at home?
Please let us know what you learn.
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— February 19, 2025 —
Hello! My 2-year-old daughter is afraid of all animals. She likes to look at them from a few feet away but won't touch them. The only exceptions have been a quick pat to a very calm cat and a sheep. When it's time to leave the farm, zoo, or pet store she's very sad to leave and often on the way home will say she would like to pet the animal. We make an effort to expose her to animals at least a few times a month and give her the opportunity to pet them, and prompt her to do so without pushing her or making her upset. For instance, I would say: "Do you want to pet the goat? Mama will pet the goat."
Is there anything else we can do? I'd really like to get a dog (eventually). Part of me wonders if it would quickly help her get used to dogs. And the other part wonders if it would be a disaster.
— Aebra
I am impressed that you're not really ready to get a dog. That's a big responsibility, and your daughter might not be ready to live with a dog 24/7. Many two-year-olds are fearful of animals, particularly if they are big and noisy. You are doing the right thing since you are acting like a role model for your daughter. Just continue to do what you are doing—expose her to mild-mannered animals as often as possible. Another activity you can try is to find books in the library or a bookstore that feature children who overcome their fears—whether they're animals or some other thing. You can see how you can emulate the strategies.
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— August 13, 2024 —
My 9-year-old daughter has sensory issues so she won't even entertain the idea of contacts. But she's struggling right now with her glasses. She's had glasses since she was less than a year old. Because of the intensity of her prescription, the glasses make her eyes look huge. She complains about how this is the first thing that people say and comment about her, and is tired of all the jokes she gets. She needs her glasses to see anything at all, otherwise she would have started going to school without them. How can we help her get more comfortable with this aspect of herself? She is also neurodivergent (adhd), if that helps.
— Henry
The children who joke about how large your daughter's eyes look when she's wearing eyeglasses are bullies. Maybe you can talk to her teacher and the guidance counselor at school because it's very cruel to bully your daughter when she needs her glasses to see well enough to navigate around the school and to do her schoolwork. Perhaps you can investigate if there is a vision specialist who can do a workshop for the children in her class so the others can get some idea of what your daughter is dealing with. Another thing you might consider is requesting that the school hold a series of workshops at school focused on reducing bullying. It's not only your daughter's problem; it is likely to be a school-wide issue.
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