I'm 27 years of age, and I need some advice. How can I tell my mother that I have reunited with an ex, whom I have always been in love with? This is the man I have dreamed of since I was little, but the problem is my mom doesn't want him for me because he is transsexual. That is not a problem for me, but my mom doesn't like me going out with him. What can I do? I love him very much, and I want a whole life with him, but I don't want to walk away because of my mother's opinion. I want her to accept it too. What advice does do you have for me?

My family has always, always had a problem with privacy. They go through my stuff, they go through my phone, my computer, my trash, and my texts. My door locks from the outside and if I close it, they come and open it without knocking even when I'm naked. I'm not even allowed to close my door at night! I get yelled at for being in the bathroom too long. Every attempt to establish boundaries ends in: "Why?, What are you hiding?" As though me wanting a little privacy to change clothes, hell, to do anything, is a crime. I can't use a diary because in the past, they read it, threw it out, and yelled at me. I was 10 when they did that. Ten. I don't get any more privacy now. I'm not allowed to leave the house without them. I once got yelled at because I passed the mail carrier while taking out the trash, and he handed me the package personally (long story, apparently I need to check for mail trucks before I take out the trash so I don't talk to people). I have no privacy, no friends, and you have no idea the amount of secrecy that went into asking for this advice. How do I get them to let me go, and when they do, how do I adjust to the normal world? I want to be responsible and well-adjusted and normal. I don't know how to be any of that. How do I be a normal kid with a normal amount of freedom who acts normally instead of constantly acting like I'm paranoid, always on the run, hiding and deleting everything in sight, and basically just being an abnormal unsocialized geek?

I'm 20, my younger sister is 16. Our parents are really overprotective of her, especially our mom. She's always been different from her peers in ways that our parents would use to justify their concerns. For instance, she had glasses since she was, like, 9-months-old, and for a while she was the only kid in her grade with glasses, and my mom worried daily about her because of this. My sister had a medical condition that required repeated hospitalization and surgery when she was in 6th grade, and that just made my parents even more protective. In elementary school it became apparent that she was severely socially anxious, though it took until she was in 8th or 9th grade—just two years ago—for my parents to accept that, and finally start sending her to therapy. The therapist has talked to my sister about possibly being autistic, but my sister is afraid to discuss that with our parents, because of their propensity /*inclination*/to worry and be overprotective.

My sister struggled for a long time socially, but starting therapy has helped her a lot. She has friends now for the first time, maybe the first close friends she's ever had. She's been calling me to complain a lot recently about how our parents are really worried about her friends. They won't let her do any of the things that 'typical" 16-year-olds do—things that I was allowed to do at that age. They won't let her go to a movie with a friend when the movie ends after 9 pm, or walk to a friend's house in the day time when the friend is 15 minutes away—she has to get a ride in our relatively safe neighborhood. One of her closest friends is a boy, and now they're worried that they'll start dating, or that they're already dating. I think they'd be very cute together, but I don't think they're dating. Our parents were perfectly fine with me dating at that age as long as I was being safe, responsible, etc. My sister wants me to intervene on her behalf, but any time I've tried to point out that I was able to do that when I was her age—my parents just say it's different because of her medical history, or her personality, or whatever. Not sure what to do now.

I like a career that my family doesn't like so much. The school that specializes in this field is in another city, so I would have to move. I have to choose between my family and studying what I want. Since I can't have both, what should I choose? What would you do?

My best friend and I have been best friends since primary school. We grew up together and know everything about each other. Once we graduated high school we ended up going to universities in different states. So instead of seeing each other every day, now we see each other only every few months. I adjusted well to my new university and easily found a large group of friends. My best friend, however, spent her first months extremely depressed, to the point where she planned on transferring after finishing her first year. This, of course, greatly upset me. The only thing she looked forward to was this one class where she would see this guy she found very attractive. I encouraged her to reach out to him, and she did. They have now been seeing each other for a few months, and initially I was over the moon! This didn't last for a long time though. Firstly, she has never been to his dorm, but he constantly stays over at hers. He recently showed up late at night without any warning because he was "in the area" (note, her dorm is quite remote). There are a range of other issues but to me it just feels like he is taking advantage of her. They are yet to define their relationship (they are not exclusive and see other people), yet she is already constantly making excuses for him and no longer wants to transfer universities because of him. It's gotten to the point where she only texts me when it's about him. Whenever I try to shift the conversation she ignores the attempt. I now no longer enjoy talking to her. Over the past few weeks this has been really upsetting me and I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose our friendship, but I worry that speaking up about the situation will cause her to drift further away from me. What upsets me the most is that I no longer recognize her. I genuinely don't know what to do and need advice badly!! :-(

I'm so lost right now. I have been struggling with an eating disorder for a little over half a year and it's taking a huge toll of my mental health. I'm at a normal weight and honestly it's not even about losing weight at this point. I just can't seem to eat. I didn't realize how serious it was until I was out at a restaurant and I had started crying, but I couldn't tell my friends why. I felt so guilty because my friend and I had a small disagreement beforehand and I could tell she thought it was her fault that I was crying—even though it wasn't. I want to recover so badly but I'm scared. My parents already suspect something but I'm too scared to tell them, even though I know they would be supportive and try to help me. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. I feel alone at this point. I don't want to eat but I also don't want to live the rest if my life like this.

I have a track record of dating guys that could be described as neglectful or manipulative on a good day. I'm so notorious for it at this point that my gamer tag has become "Red Flag Magnet."

I've been at an internship to get away from my exes at uni since I'll be a year behind when I get back. However I haven't been able to escape one of them. He has little sense of boundaries since we broke up and gets mad if I ask for space. Last year it got to a point where I had to abandon my social group of friends because he was also in it.

Since I've been at my internship I've gone to a few parties where a few guys also tried to flirt with me, but they all kept overstepping boundaries and made me feel uncomfortable to one degree or another.

My field unfortunately is largely made up of men, and I feel like as woman I'll never see an end to the long line of creeps and red flags trying to get involved with me and I'm never actually going to meet someone who's right for me.

I also find myself a bit lonely since the majority of the friends I make are either colleagues or classmates, of which very few are women. I feel like the only male friend I have constantly invalidates my feelings any time I try to vent to him, mainly because it's difficult for him to imagine situations from a female perspective.

I wish I would find the right guy for me, or grow to be content with being single or at least have some more close friends. What should I do?

My older brother "Ethan" is 23, and in grad school getting his PhD. He's autistic and really anxious and doesn't make friends easily. Ethan signed a lease on an apartment in November for the 2024-25 school year with someone who he described to his parents as just 'a friend.' His friend has a gender neutral name, like "Sam." My parents and I visited Ethan last weekend and we met his friends, including Sam. I think she could easily be described as his 'platonic' female best friend. Ethan and Sam are clearly very close, and she is also clearly very shy and anxious too. They could be dating, I guess, but our mom asked if they were dating and they both denied it and I have no reason to believe he's lying. Ethan's told me before that he thinks he's asexual and this girl looks like she could be a lesbian. It's a two bedroom apartment too. Our mom is freaking out over the possibility of Ethan moving in with a girlfriend, which I find funny because they know that my dorm is across the hall from my actual boyfriend's. Ethan only got diagnosed with autism a few years ago but ever since we were kids our parents, especially our mom, have been much more protective of him because he was 'different.' She keeps badgering him to change his mind or get him to cancel the lease or even stay at home and commute 1 hour each way (in the family group chat), and he keeps refusing, but both of them are pretty stubborn (Ethan and I have long believed our mom is also autistic) and I know this will make for an awkward Easter (the next time we're all at home together) if they keep arguing about this. I want to take Ethan's side. I know that constantly arguing with mom about this will make his mental health even worse and my dad is doing everything in his power to stay out of this. I'm struggling finding ways to support my brother without upsetting my mom. She doesn't have a coherent argument as to why it's bad for my brother to move in with a female friend. Sam's parents are apparently alright with it (not that that would matter either). My mom is freaking out about this in a way that I haven't seen her freak out about things before and I'm the only one standing up for my brother, which he's said he appreciates (our other sibling isn't responding to anything and our dad is just staying out of it).

College friendships can sometimes be hard to navigate. I've had a few instances of people who I thought were my friends but it turns out they weren't. Most of the time I find myself asking people to hang out instead of the other way around. How do I truly know if I'm hanging out with the right crowd/people?

I think I have bad luck with dating. The boys I've been on dates with end up dumping me, or ghosting me, or else we both realize we're not attracted to each other in a loving way. The boys who I find myself attracted to either already have a girlfriend, or are not interested in dating me. I'm a very independent person so I don't feel the need to be dependent on others all the time, and I don't want to date just anyone. I'm a big believer in loving myself first and tend to have the attitude of "dating would be nice, but I'm not desperate to date." Maybe I'm not datable because I don't want a boyfriend enough? Is there something wrong with me?

I try not to get jealous of my friends, but it can still be tough. For example, whenever my friends and I do anything, one of my girlfriends' boyfriend always comes along. They kiss and cuddle, refusing to leave each other. We don't want to be rude, but it makes us very uncomfortable. And one of my guy friends is planning on getting married very young because of his religious views, and is pursuing one of my friends, who happens to be the same religion as him. I do my best to be supportive, even though it's hard.

What sucks is there's this one boy that I really like, who I'll call Cameron. But I don't think he likes me back. Unfortunately, he's moved off campus so I won't see him as often as I used to. I still want to date Cameron, but if he's not into me, I don't think it's worth it. I keep having to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with me, but I feel there is something wrong. What should I do?

I'm pretty shy and I don't have many friends. I have developed a massive crush on my closest friend. Unfortunately she's a lesbian and I'm a boy so I know she'd never be interested. I really value our friendship and wouldn't want to do anything to risk it. How do I get over my crush?

I know you get countless advice questions, but I am really in need of your help. I'm part of a fellowship at my university, which I recently found out is part of a cult. I joined this group after attending a few arts and crafts events they were hosting on campus for freshmen. I also want to make note that other evangelical cults, as well as Hare Krishnas, set up tables on the quad at my college, but I avoid them because I already know that they are cults. The fellowship, however, is a very active student organization, which is maybe why I didn't realize it could be part of a cult.

While I do not partake in any of the religious activities, the fellowship's cult links still make me very concerned. The adult mentors are very nice people, maybe too nice. They are always inviting me and other students over for dinner, day trips, retreats, and other activities. One observation I have made is that many of the students in the group only hang out with the students in the fellowship. They also don't go out at night or go to parties. I have invited some of the members to come to frat parties, and they don't want to. And one guy who I am pretty friendly with, who isn't religious at all, still goes to every religious service, despite not having any interest in what they're preaching. He and his friend used to come over a lot to my dorm to hang out, but they haven't ever since they have gotten fully immersed into the fellowship.

Even though the fellowship doesn't make me pay any money to be part of it, when I miss an event, I definitely feel some guilt. Maybe I'm blindsided by their kindness, because even though the fellowship has links to a cult, I feel leaving would be a bad idea. I have made great connections within the fellowship. I know if I leave I will lose those bonds.

Do you think I should leave the fellowship, and do you have any other advice for me?

So I've been through quite the roller-coaster. I moved when I was about 10 and right now I'm settled. I had what I thought was a close family member touch me somewhat inappropriately, nothing major thankfully, just creepy. And I was maybe 11 at the time. I've witnessed my parents fighting, even though their problems had nothing to do with me, and blamed myself for a long time—until my mom tried to hurt us when she basically hit rock bottom. That made it difficult to not feel terrified whenever I had to be picked up early from school. Speaking of school, I'm homeschooled now for the second time. I hate it. I can't get anything right despite my grades being good. I just feel as if I'm not getting it. I had a relationship for a while until he cheated on me. It was devastating but we broke up. Oddly I wasn't too affected by it for the most part. Life has been hectic, but my question is how do you keep going? What's the point of keeping going? There are moments when I think maybe it'd be better if I wasn't here. I wish I could be happier with my life. What do I do?

My problem is that I'm lonely. It's hard to make new friends. I went to a party recently and spent most of the night in the kitchen. I get nervous around people I don't know. Does anyone have any advice?

I just started dating this really nice and popular girl. She's super well-liked and is always friendly to everyone. Yesterday she found out she has cancer and told me. I'm hurt and angry. She's incredible, but she's been through so much that she didn't deserve, and now this? It sucks. I just want her to have a good life, but her life has always been harder and harder as the years have gone on. I'm just so angry but I don't know how to handle it. I don't want to lose her. No one does. She's improved so many lives, started so many friendships, and has made a difference everywhere she goes. Why do bad things happen to good people?

I'm a freshman in college, and I'm having a dilemma with this one guy friend from my high school, who has blocked and ghosted me a second time. The first time he blocked me was the summer between my junior and senior year. He asked me out, and after I said yes, he immediately stopped talking to me and cut all ties with me. It wasn't until months later he apologized over text and finally unblocked me. Towards the end of senior year and into summer, we started to talk more (nothing romantic), and he even expressed wanting to hang out during our college breaks. Now, he's blocked me again. It leaves me frustrated and confused. It's been somewhat difficult to move on, and all I want is for him to unblock me, even if we're not talking. I am surrounded by amazing friends and people, and I don't want to let one guy who doesn't even go my college ruin my experience. Do you have any advice for me, as well as other people who may be reading this and going through a similar situation? — Stefanie, 19

I'm a fairly emotionally unstable person. I have the ability to compartmentalize well, so I often appear bubbly and sociable in public when in reality I am often depressed or faking my emotion. I have definite trust issues, and whenever I have attempted relationships, my natural instinct kicks in to avoid the person, or to be mean to them, or to act like I don't like them. It upsets me because I am a person who craves physical affection, and I'm very open and trusting. I just struggle to attach myself to anyone, because in the past so many people I've loved (specifically friends) have either found someone better or died. I want to be able to emotionally depend on someone enough to have a secure relationship, but I just don't know how that's possible.

I've been going out with my current boyfriend for over a year and I love him and I know he loves me too. The thing is he keeps making fun of me and it's making me feel insecure. He always says, "it's a joke," "it's a joke, you're over sensitive," "you need to be able to take a joke." Well I can't do it, I end up in tears almost every time he says something about me that's hurtful, and he never apologizes. He says he shouldn't have to apologize because it's just a joke. When I ask him to please be nice, that I don't like those jokes, he says I should find someone better. But I truly love him and don't want to end the relationship because when he's not making jokes, he's the loveliest person ever. What would be your advice?

Hi! My problem might not seem like a big deal, but I need your help and advice. I met this boy who lives in my neighborhood back in June. Let's call him Alex. He's my age (18) and knows me through my brother from their sports practice. My brother gave me Alex's social media info because he thought we had a lot in common. We started texting, and finally met and went out. A week or two following, I texted Alex about getting together again, as I'd had a lot of fun and felt we made a connection. I got a reply from him 3 days later, saying that he couldn't hang out because he was leaving for vacation and very busy. The problem is, I didn't text Alex back and left him on read—so essentially ghosted him. It's been almost a month, and now I am weeks away from starting college. I feel so bad about ghosting him. I want to send a text to him again, but I'm not sure it's appropriate knowing that I'm going back to school now. However, at the same time, I feel like sending him a text is the only way to know for sure if he wants to see me again because I would really like to see him. What should I do?

I hope you can give me some advice in relation to a situation I am experiencing with my mother. We have always been extremely close, doing everything together—we were basically best friends. When I graduated high school and started college, I met the love of my life and we started dating. Ever since then, my mom has had jealous feelings towards my then-girlfriend. When we first started dating, I never stayed at my girlfriend's house because I felt bad about leaving my mom at home by herself so my girlfriend would always come over and spend weekends with my mom and me. Also whenever my mom, girlfriend, and I did something together, if my girlfriend gave me a hug or touched my arm, then my mother would do the same thing to me. Eventually my girlfriend moved in with my mother and me, but things only got worse. Whenever I tried to spend time with my girlfriend, my mother always wanted to be around and go places with us and if we didn't take her with us, when we arrived back home, my mom would be laying on the couch crying because she felt lonely. She started acting depressed as if I had abandoned her even though my girlfriend and I almost always went everywhere with my mom.

The three of us would constantly have heated arguments, mostly having to do with my girlfriend being fed up with my mother always following us around and acting jealous, and then my mother would say things like, "well, she's MY daughter." This went on for quite some time until my girlfriend and I decided to get married and move out, which only caused more issues between my mom and me. When we first moved to an apartment, my mom actually started sleeping on the couch of our apartment and only going back to her house once a week just to check up on the house. The apartment was a 2 bedroom/2 bathroom. We used one bedroom for my wife and me, and the other bedroom was my office. My mom stayed with us, sleeping on the couch, for about 4 months until she finally asked my wife if she could make space in the office's closet so that she could put her clothes in there. That was the final straw for my wife, and she told my mom that she had to go. I know that wasn't the nicest way she could have told her, but at this point my mom was really driving us both insane. So my mother moved back to her house, but about a year later decided to sell her house because she did not want to live there by herself anymore. My wife immediately thought that the reason my mother was doing this was to force me to let her move in with us because she had nowhere to go, but my mom said she was going to stay with a roommate instead. A couple of months went by and she managed to sell the house, but then she got into an argument with her roommate who told her she could not stay with her anymore. My mother did not tell me anything about this, and instead started calling family friends telling them that she was sleeping in her car because I would not let her move in with us. When those friends called me and started accusing me of being a horrible daughter, I was shocked and immediately called my mom who said she didn't tell me anything because she didn't want to bother me or cause issues between my wife and me. I felt horrible at this point, but my mom was apparently living with another roommate so there was no point in asking her to move in with us.

Now my wife and I own a house, have successful careers and pets, and are living a wonderful life. Many parents would be proud to have a daughter accomplish all of this at such an early age. We try to spend weekends with her often. We invite her to go places with us, but whenever she goes anywhere with us, she acts depressed and like a victim. She manages to guilt trip me because she sacrificed so much for raising me as a single mother just for me to "abandon" her when I got married and moved out. She constantly reminds me that when I was a child, I used to say that I would never move out and would stay with her forever—but I was a child. I also remind her that many kids move to other states when they move out, but I made sure to stay 30 mins from where she lives and always invite her over twice a week. We do argue a lot, but nowadays I don't even enjoy spending time with her or talking to her the way I used to because of how she reacts. My wife hasn't been the nicest person towards my mom, but she tries and fails because of my mom's negative attitude towards her. Now I feel like avoiding my mom but I can't do that because I really want our relationship to be the way it used to be. Thank you for taking the time to read through this, I really appreciate any advice you may have to offer.

I have had to deal with a lot of anxiety, depression, and anger starting in middle school and continuing through high school, and now I am preparing to leave for college. I've noticed my emotions have taken a toll on not only myself, but my family as well. The problem is, I can't control myself and my emotions. And I've realized I've reached a breaking point. Most recently, after getting into a heated argument with my mom, I attacked her and put her into a chokehold. Even though she's forgiven me, I can't seem to forgive myself. I love my mom, and I regret every second I've treated her and the rest of my family badly. I feel like a monster. My mom is my best friend, and I don't want this to cause a rift between us. I also don't want my emotions to get the best of me and take over my body like they have in the past. I need help, and I'm at a loss as to what to do.